The Horsemasters’ Demise

Prophecies

In the days after the Giant had been defeated, the Great Saban called all his forces before his mighty throne, and he deemed that a count be made and an accounting done of the health of his forces before they began the strenuous march to their next conquest.  And when his columns were arranged, the mighty Enforcer, whom the Dark Lord had chosen to lead the defensive formations in their great battles, stepped forward, and as he approached the Great Saban saw that he struggled.  Though the Enforcer stood as tall as a tree, and twice as sturdy, he helped another solider who was just as monstrous, and that soldier’s arm was around the neck of the Enforcer, as he could not stand alone.

“My Lord,” spake the Enforcer, as the Dark Lord saw a single tear coming down the great warrior’s cheek, “My brother here slew many of the enemy, but one of their dastardly minions crept behind him, and he struck his leg, and he is lame.  Long did he stand beside me as we held your columns in tact, but now I do not know how I shall hold them without him, for his time may grow near.”  And the Dark Lord rose, and he came to his men, and he laid his hands on the leg of the fallen solider, and he said, “This man shall fight again.  His wound is grievous, it is true, but his body is strong, and his spirit stronger.  By the time this day comes again when the calendar turns, he shall fight.  But for now, my son, you shall hold the columns as you always have, for The Mountain is still with you, and all your other brothers.  You must take heart, as for every one of you that falls, you shall slay a full fifty men in his place.”

And the Enforcer took heart, and his brother was well cared for, and they say that everywhere the army marched that fallen soldier went too, and he bade them words of encouragement when their hearts grew troubled.

When the army was fit and well rested, the Dark Lord marched them far north toward the lands where lives the people that were called the Horsemasters.  Though they were not known for their strength in battle, the Great Saban had heard that The Angel had fought them, and he was eager to test the strength of his Exalted Army in comparison.  And when they approached the enemy lands, the grizzled general that led them sent a messenger, bidding parlay, and he asked the Dark Lord, “Dark Lord, why do you trouble us?  We have offered you no insult.”  And the Great Saban responded, “We bear you no ill will.  But The Process marches down the winding road, and you are the log that blocks the path.”  And the general knew not what this meant, but he did know that the battle could not be avoided, and he made ready his troops the best he could.

Little need be said about the battle, as the Horsemasters came forward, and they were trodden asunder like the grass ‘neath the feet of the noble steed.  But as word of the Dark Lord’s latest victory spread, The Angel, who dwelt far to the south, began to take heed of the growing power in the Promised Lands.  He went to the tent of the leader of his army, the man whom many called The Perfect One, architect of the fall of the Grand Army, and he said, “My Lord, Saban again readies his forces.  We defeated the Horsemasters to the north, and he marched there also.  He measures us even as we speak, and he shall challenge us again.”  And The Perfect One told the Angel, “We have defeated him before, and worry not, he shall fall to us again.”

11 Comments

11 Responses

  1. MD  •  December 16, 2009 @6:21 pm

    The Angel watched closely to see how the Grand Army would fight against other exalted field Generals to the west and to the east as he began to doubt his own promise to be unvanquished.

  2. NomadRT  •  December 17, 2009 @9:59 am

    Surely there are more texts to be discovered. The fabled defeat of The Angel at the hands of the Dark Lord must be told.

  3. The Templar  •  December 19, 2009 @2:46 am

    The Horsemasters were nothing more than infant felines nor shall they be more. The Reverand spake the truth once again but much too late for my instatiable tastes of his tales or yore. The tale of the Ones without a Symbol or Song are next and we wait patiently.

  4. The Exalted Frank  •  January 13, 2010 @2:09 am

    The Lane Kiffin Song:

    Thank God that I’m off ole rocky top
    And back in Beverly Hills.
    Ain’t nothing to do on rocky top
    and there sure ain’t no thrills.

    Once there was a coach on rocky top,
    Half weasel other half shrew.
    Skeazy as a bum, Dumb as a box of rocks,
    Man that place sure blew.

    Rocky Top, you’ll never be,
    Home sweet home, to me,
    FUCK YOU, ROCKY TOP!
    GO TO HELL TENNESSEE! GO TO HELL TENNESSEE!

    Champs don’t grow at all on rocky top,
    Place is too country by far.
    That’s why all the people on rocky top,
    Get their teeth out of a jar.

    Once a dad and son climbed on rocky top,
    Looking for a championship ring.
    Now that they are gone from rocky top,
    This is just what they sing:

    Rocky Top, you’ll never be,
    Home sweet home, to me.
    FUCK YOU, ROCKY TOP!
    GO TO HELL TENNESSEE! GO TO HELL TENNESSEE!

  5. 007  •  January 18, 2010 @12:24 am

    OHHHHHH SNAP!!!

    How about a post BCSNCG update? Or a Lame Kitten to USC update? You are the MAN!

  6. Bama Fan in NYC  •  January 23, 2010 @4:07 am

    The Dark Lord strikes once again… first it was Bowden, then it was Fulmer, after that it was Croome, then it was Tuberville, followed up by Meyer, and now… IT’S KIFFYKINS!

    Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve just been PROCESSED!

  7. Airborne Tider  •  March 1, 2010 @4:07 pm

    Nothing on the NCG yet? I hope you’re not in hibernation mode again!

  8. But a lowly cog in the Process  •  March 8, 2010 @4:59 am

    I think the Dark Lord would permit the scribe to regale us lowly peasants with the incredible account of His conquest. I am assured His wrath would be assuaged so long as the tale were expedited.

  9. WBC RTR  •  June 24, 2010 @12:03 pm

    And our Dark Lord did reveal his hopes for all of the followers of the Process when he did saith, “If it is for the fans, it is for me, aight? It’s just hard for me to – and it’s no disrespect to Auburn, but it’s important that everyone in the program thinks that every game we play is important.” Amen and Amen.

  10. cheap swarovski crystal  •  August 21, 2010 @8:12 am

    it is a good idea
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  11. I Miss CoS  •  August 22, 2010 @10:01 pm

    Dude… WHERE ART THOU?

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