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The Fall of the Giant – Part II

November 11, 2009
The Reverend Doctor
Prophecies

Note:  I apologize for the delay in between lessons/prophecies.  I have been on an epic search for Icons of the Great Dark Lord in the Great Northern Wastes from which he came.  We hope that study of these artifacts give us even greater understanding of our Unmerciful Prince of Football Darkness and his Mighty Process.

And the time came where the Traveler and the Giant mounted their attack on the Promised Lands, and so glorious were their plans and so flawless were their tactics that those who saw their charges said, “Verily, there exists no man who can stop this army. “  And many waited with weakened hearts for the Dark Lord to meet this charge, but the Exalted Army moved not, and his trumpets sounded not, and the only sound they made were the crunches of The Mountain as he enjoyed his pre-battle snack of 17 young hens and 5 fatted calves.  And as the Giant approached, he raised his sword, as did all his men, and they crashed into the lines of the Exalted Army.

And what then happened wise men sang about that evening, and still too do they sing about it this day, for the Giant ran head long into The Mountain, and verily he crashed to the earth like the tallest oak, and The Mountain smote him, and then The Mountain’s men smote him, and then The Mountain smote him again.  And when he was thoroughly smitten, the Great and the Great Youth began their assault.  The Great, with his eyes burning and his helmet shining, went straight through the middle of their forces, and for him they had no answer.  And then the Great Youth flanked their number, and many of their remaining men threw themselves in front of him, and he trod them asunder like so many leaves from the autumn tree.

And as night fell, the Exalted Army was victorious again, and once again a foe slumped back to the lands from which they came.  And the Dark Lord came before his forces, and said, “My sons, wash not your armor, for we march north in the morning.  Last year, the grizzled general from the lands of the horsemasters came to our hallowed ground and defiled it.  Now, we shall have our revenge.”

Next:  The Horsemasters’ Demise

9 Comments

9 Responses

  1. MD  •  November 12, 2009 @11:35 pm

    Welcome back scribe,we have all missed the glorious triumphs of the Dark Lord and his Exalted Army and look forward to your descriptions as the Process continues to unfold! Aight.

  2. rhYno  •  November 14, 2009 @10:18 am

    I feel relieved to know you’re back!

    This article was very reinvigorating, both spiritually and mentally. We were in desperate need of this!

  3. Tider69  •  November 15, 2009 @12:40 am

    RD,

    I feel a cleansing throughout every fiber of my being. Thank you for your return!

  4. 007  •  November 17, 2009 @10:22 am

    Dan Mullen = PROCESSED!!

  5. AUbarnie  •  November 19, 2009 @10:15 pm

    Are yal’l bammerz ready for the Iron Bowl National Championship? We over at the Church of Cheez-it (who is a gazillion times better of a coach than $atan) surely is!!!!!!

    WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

  6. NomadRT  •  November 19, 2009 @11:10 pm

    I have been staring at AUbarnie’s post for 10 minutes and still can’t decide if that was a parody or a real Barner posting a comment.

  7. The Exalted Frank  •  November 25, 2009 @2:45 am

    Surely AUbarnie makes a jest at the swine-like levels of intelligence that festers on the plains

  8. JC  •  December 6, 2009 @3:54 pm

    But, what of the downfall of the Angel Timothy? ROLL TIDE

  9. The Exalted Frank  •  December 7, 2009 @10:31 pm

    The return of the Reverend Doctor seems to have been but an apparition. I labor on in his stead.

    The Fruit of the Process

    And so it came to pass that the Exalted Army once again found itself without equal. Shield, spear, and sword had been wielded with the force of the gods, and the Exalted Army gazed over the broken bodies of the Men of the Barn, and their wretchedness was deemed to be lacking. And yet the yearning for the Process was not abated. The Dark Lord spoke, saying “Aight, in a past age, as the Earth breathed its icy breath over us, the Grand Army did falter in their last challange. Let this be a leason to thee, go out, and yield not.” This the Exalted Army did take to heart, and so they strove to their tasks with great competitive spirit, and every night they bowed their heads in reverence to the Process, for in this did they trust.

    And as the Dark Lord had foreseen, the same army that in the previous age had bested them arose, and leading them as before was the Antisaban. And behold, the Antisaban was a great and terrible warrior, and the bards sang his praises daily. His words were inscribed on great parchment, and the followers honored him above all others. Twice he had been to the peek of the mountain, and great was his yearning for a thrice trip. But the Dark Lord sees all, and for this he did not will.

    And so the Exalted Army lined up shoulder to shoulder, the Great Warrior of the North next to the Field General, the Mountain, the Great, the Great Youth, and all others who had studied the subtle intricacies of the Process. Lord Saban then stood before them, and with a solemn voice he began: “So I want everybody to think for a second, how much does this game mean to you? Cause if it means something to you, you can’t stand still. You understand? You play fast, you play strong, you go out there and dominate the guy you are playing against, AND MAKE HIS ASS QUIT!” At this the Exalted Army as one unleashed a single, unified roar, and with great mental focus did they charge the field.

    As day turns to dusk, it is the actions of the day that are recounted. When the young become old, they turn to the bright days of their youth. When there is times of sorrow, the times of joy are in remembrance. In those times of the future, when all that now is will not be, the actions of the Exalted Army on that day will stand all the mightier . As fact grows into tale, and tale into legend, let us not forget that this Army, our Army, did face and conquer its foe, and on that day did they become champions. Long live the Dark and Mighty Lord Saban, and Roll Tide Roll.

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