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December 4, 2008 
From the Book of Foes:
“As the sun rose on the second day, the Grand Army was refreshed, and they were merry as they strapped on their helms and their bright armor, for they knew that a great victory lay before them. And at the other camp, there was much wailing from those too injured to return to battle, and even louder wailing from those who were not injured enough to stay back at the camp. And The Great Ears slowly returned his navy robe to his thin shoulders, for he knew the time had come to march to his doom.
After the Grand Army had assembled, the Dark Lord rode to the front of their ranks, and finding them to his liking, he spoke, ‘Twelve battles have we fought on this campaign, and twelve foes have we left Processed. We marched to the Great City, and there we Processed one who knew not the might of his father. The waters ran Green into the Promised Lands, but the Tide swept them away. The Mercenary General was vanquished, and the Great Kangaroo crushed. The Grizzled General knew no joy, nor did Nutteus Maximus. The Vile One was Processed, the barbarians defeated, The False Prophet silenced, The Traitor annihilated! Now only one task lies before you. Sweep through their cursed ranks. Leave no man standing. If you cause a foe to fall, and he still draws breath, make him crawl to you and beg for you to finish your errand. And when this is done, find The Great Ears. Harm him not, taunt him not, curse him not. Bring him before me, and let him know true despair, relative to meeting my Great Process face to face.’
As the moon commands the Tides to rise, so too did the Dark Lord’s commands take root in the minds of his followers. And so great was their passion, and so relentless their competitive instinct, that they swept away the enemy that day as the water sweeps away the sand of the Southern beaches. The Great Ears saw this, and he was paralyzed with fear. He looked around for his personal guard, but they had either fallen or had forsaken him. The host that he had marched with flew back to the East. Not even the stars of the heavens cast light upon his face. He turned back toward the battle field, and his heart sank as he heard the booming voice of The Great say, ‘General…you shall come with me.’
And as he had been commanded, The Great brought the fallen foe before his master, and Ears fell prostrate at the Dark Lord’s feet. The Dark Lord reached into his pocket, and he withdrew a Debbie cookie, and he offered it to his enemy, and said, ‘Eat.’ Shaking, the Great Ears drew it to his lips. But before his teeth could touch its creamy goodness, the Dark Lord’s mighty boot kicked it from his hands. ‘You have taunted my people! You have spread falsehoods about their power! You have cursed our names! You have raised yourself at our expense! And now, my old friend, I bring you justice relative to The Process.’
And all the wind of the Earth ceased to blow, and the very sound of the night fell silent, and the eyes of the Dark Lord glowed with a sickening crimson light, and out of those terrible eyes flew a shining beam filled with the sheer hatred of all the people of the Eastern Wastelands.
And the Grand Army looked upon the spot where the Great Ears once kneeled, and naught was there but the untouched Debbie cookie. The Dark Lord stooped, and picked it up, and he processed it. And he turned to his army and spake, ‘This is over. Return to our camp. We have much work to do.’”
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