The Battle of the Great Kangaroo

Prophecies

From the Book of Foes:

“And in the days when the Eagle spread his wings over the plains, and much turmoil was caused by his shadow, and much wine was consumed by the man who made the Eagle spread, and his face knew not a razor, word came to the Dark Lord about the rising black cloud to the East.  The Saint formed his army, and he called to the greatest of his warriors, The Great Kangaroo, and said to him, ‘Make ready your brethren.  We shall lure the Dark Lord to our homeland and here we shall smite him.  His Dark wrath shall shatter on our dusky robes.’  And the Great Kangaroo lept from the tent, and he then lept over a colonel, and he then lept over the Athenian Hound, and he made ready his brethren.

And the Solicitor Timothy wrote to the Great Saban, and he told him of this gathering cloud, and it was written, And it was seen that the Great Saban, too, was clothed in black. And his army, and their followers, were at ease.’  But on the third evening before the battle, the Dark Lord laid down his ebony raiment, and he donned his grey battle vest, and he came before his followers, and he delivered unto them these words: ‘My children, great is the opponent who stands before us.  Great are their generals, greater are their warriors.  Never have I lied to you, and verily, I lie not to you now.  Their greatness precedes them, but your greatness lies ahead!  Often have the strong fallen before the weak; now the strong shall fall before those whose power grows with every passing week.  Blessed shall be our front line troops, shall they shall lay the foundation of our victory.  Blessed is The Mountain, for his roots run far deeper than the youth that awaits him.  Blessed is The Great Youth, for he shall outshine the one they say matches his greatness.  And cursed are those in black armor, as their mortal blood still runs Crimson in their veins.’  And the Armies of Saban took heart, and they doubted not the fate that lay before them.”

6 Comments

6 Responses

  1. ZOMGPHUTBAWL  •  September 24, 2008 @11:46 pm

    wow,

    I’m a huge dawg fan but I can give credit where it’s due, thats creative. I love the part where Saban pizzed on Petrino, he screwed everyone in the ATL. I can only hope a better ending for Richt should we lose saturday…

    GO DAWGS!!

  2. The Reverend Doctor  •  September 25, 2008 @1:20 am

    ZOMGPHUTBAWL,

    Thank you for your kind words. We here at the CoS wish all your players a safe game. We have always been impressed with the class and hospitality shown us by the followers of the Athenian Hound when we have made the travels East.

  3. ZOMGPHUTBAWL  •  September 25, 2008 @7:58 pm

    Reverend Doctor,

    While the Athenian Hound is, and forever shall be, my one true allegiance, where might an inquiring mind find more detailed accounts of the Church of Saban’s history?

  4. The Reverend Doctor  •  September 26, 2008 @2:34 am

    ZOMGPHUTBAWL,

    Excellent question. It shall be answered in full in a new post that I am currently working on.

  5. [...] a lighter note, this is great.  Demented, but great. (h/t Bama Sports [...]

  6. SonuvaDawg  •  September 27, 2008 @8:55 am

    While I enjoyed reading this, it is typically something we would expect from a geek at the north avenue trade school as opposed to an SEC opponent.

    Good on ya nonetheless hehe

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