Great Saban, we thank you for your merciless destruction of our latest foe.  May their tears of inconsolable sadness water the roots of your malcontent.

From The Great Tome of Saban, the Book of the Process:

“And the Army of Saban traveled east until they reached the realm of the Athenian Hound, and upon arriving they came to a great field around which gnarled vines marked the dominion of The Saint.  And The Saint came forward, and with him he brought the Great Kangaroo, and he screamed, ‘Your time is nigh, Saban!  My men come shrouded in black, and black shall be your dreams, and great shall be your despair.’ The Dark Lord did not flinch, but said, ‘Then make it so.’  With this, he sent forward his Army.

The Great Youth stepped to the front, and he said to his brothers, ‘Follow me,’ and verily, they followed.  The Mountain then stepped forward and said, ‘Let the Great Kangaroo come forth, for no man can leap over that which stretches to both horizons.’  The Dark Lord’s infantry pushed through black shrouds like the wind through the trees.  Attack after attack went without answer, as the defenses the Great Saban had put into place were impenetrable.  His tactics were beyond reproach, and while The Saint clutched to a glimmering bit of hope, The Great Youth stepped forward and crushed it asunder.

Midway through the great battle, The Saint called forward the Great Kangaroo, and he said, ‘Oh leaper of men and hurdler of trees, you must return to the battlefield and turn the Tide; replace with black waters that which runs Crimson with our blood.’  And the Great Kangaroo cowered, and he said meekly, “I cannot do this.  My body is battered.’  And The Saint replied, ‘But you walk!  And you stand without aid!  If you can stand, can you not fight while the battle is not yet lost?’  And the Great Kangaroo spat, and he said, ‘Fool, don’t you see?  This battle was lost before even I donned my armor.’  And The Saint fell to his knees, for he knew the Great Kangaroo spoke the truth.

And when the battle was done, The Great Saban came to his men, yet no smile crossed his vengeful lips.  No joy was found in his eyes, but rather fiery rage burned from within his soul.  ‘My sons, think not that I am not proud of what you have done.  You have met a great foe, and you have left them crawling from our wake.  But neither think your Dark Lord satisfied with what we have done relative to the way we did it.  Did any man here strike a foe twice before he fell?  Then you must work until you need but strike him once.  Did any man here fell three foes?  Then you must work until you fell thirty.  Did any man here stop his foe before he crossed ten yards of this hallowed ground?  Then work until next time he fears to even take a step.  Forget not what I have told you:  enjoy today for the setting of one sun and the rising of one moon.  And then, my sons, thirsty for batle must we become again.’

And as the Great Saban finished, he heard a whimpering voice behind him.  He turned, and it was The Saint, whose eyes showed no light.  And he asked, ‘Oh, Great Saban…tell me please…how came you by such great power?’  And Saban said, ‘Through The Process.’  And he spat on The Saint, and The Saint thanked him for it.”

Mighty and unmerciful Saban, the day of battle is upon us.  Your loyal followers ready themselves to annoint themselves with the cheapest of Kentucky Sour Mash, and the barbecuest of pork rinds.  We know that the battle before us is fraught with many hardships.  We know that our troops do battle on unfriendly ground.  We know the prowess of the foes that guard that doorstep.  We shall stand with you until the last horn sounds, oh Dark Lord of the Gridiron, destroyer of hopes and devourer of dreams.  May your Army be strong, and may all they do be Aight in your sight.

“And in the days when the Eagle spread his wings over the plains, and much turmoil was caused by his shadow, and much wine was consumed by the man who made the Eagle spread, and his face knew not a razor, word came to the Dark Lord about the rising black cloud to the East.  The Saint formed his army, and he called to the greatest of his warriors, The Great Kangaroo, and said to him, ‘Make ready your brethren.  We shall lure the Dark Lord to our homeland and here we shall smite him.  His Dark wrath shall shatter on our dusky robes.’  And the Great Kangaroo lept from the tent, and he then lept over a colonel, and he then lept over the Athenian Hound, and he made ready his brethren.

And the Solicitor Timothy wrote to the Great Saban, and he told him of this gathering cloud, and it was written, ‘And it was seen that the Great Saban, too, was clothed in black. And his army, and their followers, were at ease.’  But on the third evening before the battle, the Dark Lord laid down his ebony raiment, and he donned his grey battle vest, and he came before his followers, and he delivered unto them these words: ‘My children, great is the opponent who stands before us.  Great are their generals, greater are their warriors.  Never have I lied to you, and verily, I lie not to you now.  Their greatness precedes them, but your greatness lies ahead!  Often have the strong fallen before the weak; now the strong shall fall before those whose power grows with every passing week.  Blessed shall be our front line troops, shall they shall lay the foundation of our victory.  Blessed is The Mountain, for his roots run far deeper than the youth that awaits him.  Blessed is The Great Youth, for he shall outshine the one they say matches his greatness.  And cursed are those in black armor, as their mortal blood still runs Crimson in their veins.’  And the Armies of Saban took heart, and they doubted not the fate that lay before them.”