Contact
SubscribeSymbology
Any group that follows the beliefs of a specific cause formulates and reveres certain symbols that represent what they believe, and the Church of Saban is no different. The following symbols are items that the CoS reverently regards as icons of our Dark Lord. Some of them may be seen on the persons of his followers. Some of them are possessed only by the Great Saban himself.
The Saban Hat
This iconic hat guards the Dark Lord daily from the Sun…not because it would harm him, but because it would anger him, causing him to destroy it with his laser eyes (which would have a negative impact relative to other programs telling recruits that our coach destroyed the sun).
The Saban Vest
The armor worn by the Dark Lord while he drills his Great Army. Note the crimson mesh, which allows steam to be safely expunged from his armpits (each of which produce enough energy to light the city of Tuscaloosa for 18 millenia).
The Debbie Cookie
The food that fuels the Great Saban’s day (which, incredibly, lasts 29 hours). All supermarkets in the Greater Tuscaloosa metro are now required by law to carry surplus supplies of these treats as a precaution against the terrible wrath of Saban that would no doubt descend upon the area were he to have to go a morning without his regular sugary nutrition. These are often consumed by his followers during ritualistic pre-game meals in order to curry his favor.
You are some sick people. SICK!!!!!!
Seriously people, you need to learn that the entire world does not revolve around college football. You guys are some real Alabama rednecks. Why don’t you channel all this energy into something worthwhile or meaningful?
Assuredly it has many times been said, that as the Sun itself rises from the East and doth fall from sight to the West, such is the fate of the non-believers. Their rise is slow as the mild warmth of false hope fills the hearts of the wayward sheep that follow as moths to the flame. As the light of their Sun is at its midday pinnacle, the Dark Lord’s superior, Process motivated eye sees the frailty of their foundation and the fall that is their lot. The immortal plunge of Icarus is disparaged by their plummet from success to failure of epic magnitude as the once bright light dims and deceases in the all encompassing fury of the Exalted Army’s Tide. Be mindful of these things when placing judgment upon such as the Process driven followers of these treasured lands, for relative to the degree in which the errant do judge against the Process, the Process judges an unmerciful 810 times and counting, in turn, against they who err. It’s a fun site m johnson and m ross. Loosen up and enjoy it.
All people who do not follow the way of the dark lord shall crumble. i’ve seen it. Fear of the dark lord. its in their eyes, wait, slowly pressing foward until only the glazed look of a man with no courage. all thats left, after the dark lords wrath, is merely a shell of a man. mine own eyes become glassy when i look upon the dark lord. not of fear, but of the awesomeness of him, i feel his power, it radiates to me like the sun rising. i become stronger when the dark lord leaves the promise lands and makes trails to other lands to break bread, and scout out the cities for warriors of esteem. upon this sacred groud. may the power of the dark lord protect it. May the dark lord bless you.
M Ross,
Why don’t you channel your energy (the fact that you took time out of your day to grace us with your negative presence) into something worthwhile and meaningful. You need to realize that the entire world does not revolve around around your opinion (and obvious envy), and worrying more about other people is a gazillion times worse than someone’s life revolving around a football team… Aubarn (AL) revolves around the same football team that Alabama revolves around: Alabama!