In the days after the Giant had been defeated, the Great Saban called all his forces before his mighty throne, and he deemed that a count be made and an accounting done of the health of his forces before they began the strenuous march to their next conquest.  And when his columns were arranged, the mighty Enforcer, whom the Dark Lord had chosen to lead the defensive formations in their great battles, stepped forward, and as he approached the Great Saban saw that he struggled.  Though the Enforcer stood as tall as a tree, and twice as sturdy, he helped another solider who was just as monstrous, and that soldier’s arm was around the neck of the Enforcer, as he could not stand alone.

“My Lord,” spake the Enforcer, as the Dark Lord saw a single tear coming down the great warrior’s cheek, “My brother here slew many of the enemy, but one of their dastardly minions crept behind him, and he struck his leg, and he is lame.  Long did he stand beside me as we held your columns in tact, but now I do not know how I shall hold them without him, for his time may grow near.”  And the Dark Lord rose, and he came to his men, and he laid his hands on the leg of the fallen solider, and he said, “This man shall fight again.  His wound is grievous, it is true, but his body is strong, and his spirit stronger.  By the time this day comes again when the calendar turns, he shall fight.  But for now, my son, you shall hold the columns as you always have, for The Mountain is still with you, and all your other brothers.  You must take heart, as for every one of you that falls, you shall slay a full fifty men in his place.”

And the Enforcer took heart, and his brother was well cared for, and they say that everywhere the army marched that fallen soldier went too, and he bade them words of encouragement when their hearts grew troubled.

When the army was fit and well rested, the Dark Lord marched them far north toward the lands where lives the people that were called the Horsemasters.  Though they were not known for their strength in battle, the Great Saban had heard that The Angel had fought them, and he was eager to test the strength of his Exalted Army in comparison.  And when they approached the enemy lands, the grizzled general that led them sent a messenger, bidding parlay, and he asked the Dark Lord, “Dark Lord, why do you trouble us?  We have offered you no insult.”  And the Great Saban responded, “We bear you no ill will.  But The Process marches down the winding road, and you are the log that blocks the path.”  And the general knew not what this meant, but he did know that the battle could not be avoided, and he made ready his troops the best he could.

Little need be said about the battle, as the Horsemasters came forward, and they were trodden asunder like the grass ‘neath the feet of the noble steed.  But as word of the Dark Lord’s latest victory spread, The Angel, who dwelt far to the south, began to take heed of the growing power in the Promised Lands.  He went to the tent of the leader of his army, the man whom many called The Perfect One, architect of the fall of the Grand Army, and he said, “My Lord, Saban again readies his forces.  We defeated the Horsemasters to the north, and he marched there also.  He measures us even as we speak, and he shall challenge us again.”  And The Perfect One told the Angel, “We have defeated him before, and worry not, he shall fall to us again.”

Note:  I apologize for the delay in between lessons/prophecies.  I have been on an epic search for Icons of the Great Dark Lord in the Great Northern Wastes from which he came.  We hope that study of these artifacts give us even greater understanding of our Unmerciful Prince of Football Darkness and his Mighty Process.

And the time came where the Traveler and the Giant mounted their attack on the Promised Lands, and so glorious were their plans and so flawless were their tactics that those who saw their charges said, “Verily, there exists no man who can stop this army. “  And many waited with weakened hearts for the Dark Lord to meet this charge, but the Exalted Army moved not, and his trumpets sounded not, and the only sound they made were the crunches of The Mountain as he enjoyed his pre-battle snack of 17 young hens and 5 fatted calves.  And as the Giant approached, he raised his sword, as did all his men, and they crashed into the lines of the Exalted Army.

And what then happened wise men sang about that evening, and still too do they sing about it this day, for the Giant ran head long into The Mountain, and verily he crashed to the earth like the tallest oak, and The Mountain smote him, and then The Mountain’s men smote him, and then The Mountain smote him again.  And when he was thoroughly smitten, the Great and the Great Youth began their assault.  The Great, with his eyes burning and his helmet shining, went straight through the middle of their forces, and for him they had no answer.  And then the Great Youth flanked their number, and many of their remaining men threw themselves in front of him, and he trod them asunder like so many leaves from the autumn tree.

And as night fell, the Exalted Army was victorious again, and once again a foe slumped back to the lands from which they came.  And the Dark Lord came before his forces, and said, “My sons, wash not your armor, for we march north in the morning.  Last year, the grizzled general from the lands of the horsemasters came to our hallowed ground and defiled it.  Now, we shall have our revenge.”

Next:  The Horsemasters’ Demise

After the Battle of the Great City, and the Fall of the Golden Panthers, much talk was made of the Dark Lord Saban and his new general, the man whose hair they say burned like fire, and whose commands were true, and whose sword struck the helm of those who opposed him with great precision.  And wise men from far and near gathered, and they asked one another, “Who is this warrior who has gained the favor of the Dark Lord?  For he commands the Great Youth, and even when The Great himself does not fight, still he leads his forces to victory?”  And verily, these words reached east, all the way to the ocean, and they reached west, across the Mighty River, and to the wide and open lands where longhorned cattle roamed.  And in those lands, a man heard of this, and he said, “Truly, I trained this warrior.  Under my teaching did he learn his craft, and I know his every ebb and flow.”  This was true, as many years before had the Field General fought under the tutelage of this trainer, and many victories had they won.  But now, he had moved on to greater things, and the favor of Saban had he gained, and the man who had trained him had an army that had fallen into ruin.  But the man said to those warriors who still stood with him, “My boys, if we can defeat the Field General and his forces, perhaps he shall see that my way was the right way, and Saban steers him wrong.”  So from the far west did he march his troops, and he met the Field General and the Exalted Army in the Promised Lands.  Wise men speak little of this battle, for as the learned may guess, the battle was bloody for the ragged western army, and the Exalted Army defended their lands with ease.  So badly were they beaten that before the sun was halfway set, the Field General was called back by the Dark Lord, saying, “All is aight.  Once you learned under this man, but now you are a part of The Process, and truly you have processed him who once taught you.”  And the young ones who Saban had called to his cause stepped forward, and they slew almost  every member of the western force, who could barely be called an army at all.

And as the bloodbath drew to a close the Mighty and Powerful Saban, his eyes burning with the fires of victory, pursued those who ran from his wrath, and he cornered them at the borders of the Promised Lands, and he told them, “Young warriors…you know know the power of The Process.  You know that the competitive spirit holds intensity that you cannot match.  Go back west, and find someone who can match what you have seen here today…for if you can, you shall be avenged.”  And those battered warriors ventured back to the west to find such a force, not knowing that the Great Dark Lord already knew there were none in those parts who could match his power.

The battered warriors journed long, across the Mighty River, and north of the lands they called home, to a place where waters gushed from the earth with the heat of the sun, and they found a general called The Traveler, who had once commanded an army of mercenaries in the Great City, and who the Dark Lord had defeated before on his own grounds.  And they asked him, “Traveler, can you oppose the Great Saban?  Our forces merely broke upon him like the waves break upon the beaches, and we know that when you opposed him before your forces did the same.”  And the Traveler smiled, and he told them, “It is true that the Dark Lord defeated me.  But in those days my field general was weak, and my forces unsure.  But now my men have great faith in my teachings, and I have found a new warrior to lead them.  The tip of his helm touches the clouds, and when the throws his spear it flies with such force that it is through his foe before the poor soul knows he is struck.  I shall make him ready, and I shall march to the Promised Lands, and there shall be my greatest victory. ”

And he went before this mighty warrior, who was called The Giant, and he said, “Now, the time has come.  Prepare your men, for we lay waste to the Exalted Army before the fortnight falls.”

“And verily the tribe they call the Golden Panthers did march toward the Promised Lands, and along the way they met many followers of The Angel, and The Saint, and The Cursed People, and they met them with cheers, for the people said, ‘Do not be afraid!  The one they call Saban is but a man as we!  Take heart, and you may defeat him!’  And the general that led this army did take heart, and his confidence grew.  But as they were about to leave camp, one of the Cursed People came to him, clothed in no more but rags and filth (as was the style of his kind), and said, ‘Great general, my own people scorn me for my words, but I tell you the truth.  My brethren do not see the Storm that has risen to the West.  They believe it merely a summer squall that shall thunder and rain, and then pass.  But I have seen its clouds reach to the height of the heavens, and they are mighty, and strong in foundation, and though they beat down rain upon their foe they do not fade away, and when the lightning of the Unmerciful Saban strikes you, you have not the time to despair.  Turn around, march home, and your men shall wake again in the morrow.’  And the general put on a brave face and marched on, but in his heart he knew that what the old man said was true.

The sun was setting when the Golden Panthers arrived in the Promised Lands, and the general intended to make camp and make preparations for the coming battle.  However, as the first tent was pitched, a horn sounded in the distance that sounded as if it were the cry of the mighty pachyderm.  ‘Make ready your weapons,’ the general told his men.  ‘Saban approaches.’  And he told his field commander, ‘You must lead them from the front.’

And approach the Dark Lord did, with The Great leading the Exalted Army, and like a bolt from the sky did the wave of the Great Saban’s forces hit their foe.  But before the first drop of sweat hit the hallowed clay, a mighty roar rang out from the middle of the battleground.  All turned to look, and they saw The Great kneeling, the bodies of a full fifty enemies surrounding him as if in humble worship.  ‘These men struck my leg,’ he bellowed.  ‘May none of you approach me, or your fate shall be the same as theirs.’  And with this he stood, and he limped not, though he was in pain, and he returned to the front line.  There, he called to a young warrior whom the Great Saban had found in the lands to the South of the promised land, and whom many other generals had called upon, but whom had pledged his services to Saban only.  And The Great called him near, and he said, Greater battles have I to fight, and I do no good in victory if it be my last.  I return to our Dark Lord’s side to rest, and one must serve in my stead.  In days gone by, before my virtues were well known, they called me The Great Youth, for my years were few, but my talents many.  Now, I am called Youth no more, though that title still holds great glory.  Now I give it to you, Great Youth, and you shall lead these men as I have and will again.’

The Great Youth, as he was now called, took his place at the front line, and the men looked upon him in wonder.  His braids did flow from his helm as The Great, and though he was shorter in stature, he was broader in chest and faster in stride.  And just as if he had come from the womb with sword and shield, he charged ahead and led the merciless attack of the Exalted Army.  The Golden Panthers tried again and again to counter the onslaught, but their pitiful charges broke like waves break on the sands and the rocks.  And when The Dark Lord saw this, he turned to The Great, who was by his side, and said, ‘Look, aight.  The tide does rise, and it swallows that within its reach, and their cries of fear self-gratify us all.’  As the day looked bleaker for his men, the Panthers’ field commander tried to gather what courage remained among their number and lead a desperate attack on the flank of the Exalted Army.  But as he arrived, the wise men now say, the defenses of Saban pushed back with such might that the stomping of their boots felled their foes before their swords could even strike.  And as the sun shined no more this day, and the moon was high in the sky, cheers rang across the field, for the Exalted Army of the Sabanic Empire was victorious once more.

As as his enemies fled back to the south like the swallows in late autumn, The Dark Lord sent a messenger to carry his will to the general who led them.  And the messenger said, ‘Great Saban, the enemy does flee.  How can I catch them to deliver your message?’  And the Dark Lord’s face grew less gruff, and a lesser man would have smiled, and he said, ‘Have you not seen what has happened this day?  No man of his can outstride any man of mine.’  And with this the messenger was off, and as the Great Saban had sad, he soon caught the general and delivered the message.  ‘General,’ asked the weary who counted themselves lucky enough to be still on foot, ‘What has he told us?’  And the general replied, ‘He says that he knows that as we marched to these lands, we met the cheers of many who would oppose him, and he says we return to our homes by his will alone.  And thus he bids us tell those who cheered us as we return that they have filled us with lies, and that the Great Saban is as they say he is, and verily, we are to tell them that their fate soon approaches.’”

In the days when the Golden Son of the Western Plains had been slain by the warriors from the shores of the Great Salted Lake, the peoples from the Promised Lands stirred nervously as they awaited word from the Great City about the Exalted Army of the Sabanic Empire, and whether or not their glory there had been regained.   And before the Army marched back home to the west, men of wisdom and soothsayers came through the Promised Lands, and they told the people, “In truth we tell you, we stayed long near the Great City, and we saw the Great Saban, and The Mountain and The Bull, and the Great, who in his own land was called Quintorris the Mighty, and so too a warrior was there that led them, and his hair burned with the redness of the setting sun, and verily they conquered their foe.”  And the peoples’ minds were eased, and with great joy they prepared for the return of the Army.  And when the Army returned, there was much rejoicing, and the peoples drank deeply of the mead and the ale and the rye and the lager and the wine and the bourbon and all the other libations that refreshed the soul and confused the mind.  And on the next day they woke, and they again drank deeply of the mead and the ale and the rye and the lager and the wine and the bourbon, and nary a field was plowed for three risings of the sun and three settings of the moon.  But even as the people rejoiced, the Dark Lord’s mind turned toward the next battle that lay before him.

For it is said that as he drilled his men on one day of beauty a vagabond  appeared, his robes tattered and his face dirtied with long travel, and the guards said, “Old man, if you do believe that The Great and Merciless Saban is the ruler of all these lands, put down your pack and rest your weary legs, for this is verily the Kingdom of Saban, and none of his followers shall go without.”  And the old man said, “My sons, the charity of the Great Saban for those who follow him is truly as they say, but I come for no charity.  Give me bread, for I hunger, and water, for I thirst, but after this take me to Saban, and I shall pay for my wage.”  And the guards did not question him, for though his faculties were meager they sensed within him great truth.  And they brought him bread and water, and when he was refreshed they brought him before The Dark Lord.

The Dark Lord said to him, “Tell me what you have come to tell me, aight, and you shall have truly earned your keep, for I sense that you hold tidings relative to my next conquest.”  And the vagabond said, “Great Saban, your wisdom surpasses the rumors and the legends, and I know I tell you little that you have not already seen.  But I hold tidings from the south, where an army rises to challenge you.  In the southernmost lands, there is a great force, whom they say fights like a hurricane rolls over the beaches, but they dare not challenge you.  But one of their number, one who was defeated by this Army long before your coming, has left their care and raised his own battalion, and he knows that his repute is poor, and he believes that if he can march here and defeat you that glory shall be his forever.”

The Dark Lord rose, and he said, “Guards, take this man to my wardrobe, and put over his shoulders the cloak of his choosing, and also a tunic with crimson ropes, and also food and wine to his fill, as he has truly earned his wage.”  And the vagabond bowed once more, and the Great Saban left to address his Army.

“My mighty warriors,” he spake, his eyes burning and his nostrils flaring, “An army from the southernmost lands approaches.  A new army it is, and it has been raised for but one purpose; they come to put a halt to The Process so that their own glory be greater.  But truly I tell you, I have had a vision, and in my eyes I saw a panther of the fields, his fur as gold as the summer wheat.  And as he stalked his prey, a great rumbling was heard, and he paused.  And as he stood still, before he could move again, the mighty foot of an elephant crushed him as he stood.  Here marches this new army, all clothed in the gold of the panther and the blue of the ocean, but we shall meet them, and we shall crush them underfoot, and they shall cry out relative to their inconsolable paid.  But take not their threat with a light heart, lest it be our pride and our honor that is crushed.”

And the men took heed of his words as they prepared for the battle, for they knew that sword would meet shield again before a fortnight fell.

And it came to pass that The Exalted Army gathered outside the Great City, and the follows of the Most Dark and Powerful Saban joined the army there, and on the eve of battle they prepared the Army a feast.  And The Mountain came, and though he ate heartily his appetite was not subdued.  The people asked him, “Oh Mighty Mountain, what can we put before you so that you might devour it and your hunger be put aside?”  And he said, “Only the flesh of the most strange of birds, whose neck be long and whose body be wide, can satisfy my hunger.”  And the people asked him, “Oh Mighty Mountain, where can we find these strange birds, so that we might present them to you?”  But before he could answer, The Dark Lord stepped forth and said, “You finding these birds is not part of The Process.  The Mountain and his comrades must seek these birds themselves, and they must hunt them with great competitive spirit and tenacity relative to causing their ultimate demise.  Only then shall their hunger be self-gratified.”  And the people were confused, but The Mountain knew the words were true.

After the feast, the Dark Lord addressed his Army, saying, “Tomorrow, The Process continues.  It does not begin anew, for it shall require all the lessons you have learned relative to your previous victories and defeats.  Great was your power, but not great enough.  Deadly were your weapons, but not deadly enough.  Do not rest upon the past relative to your successes, and do not dwell upon the past relative to your failures.  But take with you unto the field of battle all the lessons that I have taught you and all the lessons you have taught yourselves, and self-gratification shall be at hand.”

The people were restless that night, but the Army slept deeply, for they knew that this battle was fought many fortnights before, for the Great Saban had told them, “Not on the day of battle is the victory won, but through your preparation for battle is the helm of your adversary hewn.”

The sun rose bright and gleaming, like the fiery eye of Saban himself, as the Exalted Army clasped tight their helms and formed ranks to meet their foe.  Onward they marched to the field of battle, and so great was the splendor of their banners that wise men who saw it proclaimed it to be beyond even the Grand Army in power and might.  But so too marched their foe, and at the head of their columns sat the old general, and at his side sat his commander, a man who the scribes say moved with such haste that no man could know his place until he was already behind them, his sword sheathed in the back of his opponent.  For on this commander had the general laid his hopes, and he had told his colonels, “They say the men of the Exalted Army are as the mountains are; towering to the heavens, broad like the sea.  But a mountain cannot run, nor can it walk.  But one can go around a mountain, and one can go over a mountain.  Our commander shall go around the mountains, and the rest of our men over them.  Saban believes his mountains strong, and verily they are, but what is strength if it cannot catch its foe?”

In the center of the Great City the two armies met, and sword met helmet, and also limbs, and bones were cracked, and sinews sliced, and blood splattered, and skin torn, and hearts bruised, and livers punctured, and groins punched, and faces smashed.  And as the battle raged, the forces in purple and orange delighted, for they said, “Their might is not what we had feared!”

But as the day turned to night, and the moon rose high in the heavens, The Great Saban came to one of his young warriors, the one they called The Bull, for he ran through men like the bull stampedes the grass, and he said, “Destroy them.”  And The Bull went, and he put on his shining helm, and like a boulder rolling down a mountain did he plow through the old general’s defenses.  Lines that had long been held by their sweat and their blood broke like a twig on a young oak.  Just minutes before, they felt the swell of victory in their hearts, but now they found themselves to be just another clump of earth to be trampled asunder by the Dark Lord’s terrible boot.

And when the general knew that his men were spent, he went and humbled himself before the Dark Lord, and the Dark Lord told him, “Go, and take your men, and take your swords, back to the country near the sea where you call home.  And march and meet those other armies by the seas if you choose.  But come not again to the Southern Lands, for as I told your allies before you on this very ground, we fight a fight here you cannot win, relative to us being much better than you in every conceivable way.”

And the general hung his head, for he knew it was true, and he took his men, and they marched back to the sea.

Originally posted at BryantDrive.

In the days after the Second Battle of the Great City, the forces of Saban lay scattered and forlorn, and their defeat by The Angel and his minions weighed heavily upon their hearts.  And The Great Saban took what remained of his Army, and he returned to the Promised Lands, and there he lay in wait for his time to come again.  And though rumors spread throughout the land that he could never again build an army that matched the splendor of The Grand Army of the Sabanic Empire, His Darkness would hear none of them, and he worked tirelessly to reform his forces to a strength greater than the world had ever seen.

And so it came to pass that word reached The Great Saban that The Angel had left The Great City, and in his stead he left a great general from lands close to that place from whence Saban himself was born.  Long had this general commanded his army, and many victories had he seen, and many powerful warriors had he commanded.  The Pit Bull had he once led, whose cruelty was so great that the magistrates of the land had imprisoned him, and countless others had also donned the purple tabards which symbolized the general’s lands.  And The Angel told him, “Do not believe the rumors you hear.  I have met the Great Saban in battle, and his power is as the legends say.  One day, I shall meet him again, but not this day.  Saban and I must take different paths before we meet again.  Gather your forces here, and he shall march to meet you, and you must do justice upon him.”

And the spies of Saban heard this news, and they hurried to the Dark Lord to tell him the news.  But as soon as they came before him, yelling, “Oh Great Saban, dark tidings do we bring!” he raised his hand, and their tongues were silenced.  “I know the tidings you bring, relative to the general in the Great City,” spake he, “and I know that my people expect me to meet him there with the Grand Army.  But the Grand Army shall not meet him, for The Great, who was The Great Youth, we have not, nor do we have the Warrior of the North, for they have taken a voyage upon the sea, and they have not returned.  I shall not march without them, aight.”

And the peoples were greatly troubled, as The Great and the Warrior of the North had long before gone upon the sea, and no one knew when they would return.  Just when it seemed that no greater wrong could come to the Grand Army, news reached the Promised Lands that one of Saban’s most veteran warriors had met a highwayman, and his coinpurse he would not part with, and the highwayman had run him through with his rapier, and the warrior’s blood was spilled.  But Saban came before the people, and said, “The warrior whose blood was spilled shall return, and you shall think your eyes deceive you, relative to him being strong and healthy still, but I say to you that he shall be whole again. “  And two days later, the veteran warrior returned, an the people rejoiced saying, “Great warrior, we thought your blood was spilled!”  And he said to them, “My blood was spilled, but so mighty a man am I that no coward highwayman can stop me!”  And the people rejoiced again, because the bravery of the warrior was surely greater than the cowardice of the criminal.  And the Great Saban emerged and told them, “This Warrior’s bravery is now known to you, and he shall lead us when my other warriors return.”  And the people knew it was true, for the warrior’s bravery bathed him in glory and honor.

That same day, after night had fallen, drums rang out from down the road, and the people rushed out to see why the drums were beating.  And when they saw the figures coming down the road, they fell to their knees in joy, for it was The Great and the Warrior of the North.  “RETURNED FROM OUR VOYAGE ON THE SEA,” said they.  “WE COME AGAIN TO FIGHT FOR SABAN.”  And they stood together with the veteran warrior and Saban, and all the Army gathered round them.

And His Most Unmerciful Excellence surveyed his forces, and he spake to the peoples, “As I have said, never again shall The Grand Army march.  The Grand Army is no more, and their swords are dulled and their helmets hewn.  Stands here The Exalted Army of the Sabanic Empire, and they shall lead us to victory once more.”

And the people cheered, and The Exalted Army marched east to meet the foe that awaited them there.

After an overwhelming number of requests to return Church of Saban prophecies to this hallowed shrine, and discussions with our most esteemed and shady attorneys, we have found a loophole in our contract with BryantDrive and will once again be posting the prophecies on this site.

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